No.

Brought to you by the "Oscar-winning team behind Godzilla Minus One," or whatever.

No. Nope. Sorry. Not even out of the gate. Uh-uh. No way. Not a chance in a million. Nothing doing. Absolutely not. Aw, hell nah. Shuffle all the way off to Buffalo with that.

Much like cow dung on the farm, the trailer for the Netflix adaptation of The Human Vapor (1960) just "dropped," and it's just as bad as I was expecting. I gave up on it completely upon seeing the image above. Thanks but no thanks -- waste somebody else's time, who will no doubt give it seven stars and three thumbs up on his personal Letterboxd account. "The greatest Japanese film since either Rental Family or Bullet Train Explosion! (I haven't seen Exit 8 yet.)"

I can't imagine why this thing would appeal to anybody who admires the original film or even any pre-Shin Godzilla (2016) tokusatsu work, but I can't imagine a lot of things that nonetheless exist. I mean, I don't know why someone's interest in Japanese SFX would start with Heisei-era Ultraman shows and pretty much ignore everything that came before them, so I'm bemused by how many such people are active on Twitter.

Great idea!

Even Godzilla (1954), formerly the undisputed sacred cow of fandom if there ever was one, is no longer secure in its position of "You don't understand cinema if you don't automatically rank it number one." Once slapped onto every top 10 list in the number-one position by rote, now it's more and more often supplanted by the overhyped, overpraised, and overdiscussed CG cartoons of the last 10 years. (Recency bias? What dat?)

We sure are in a brave new world of discourse if the year 1954 doesn't elicit the reflexive oohs and aahs of yore from the online purveyors of Martin Scorsese memes. Get with the times, yo! How can anything Ishiro Honda ever committed to celluloid compete with a truly C I N E M A T I C lecture on Freon gas? Do I need to show you a picture of David Lynch talking into a microphone in order for you to get it? How can you even think to question me when it says "film critic" right there in my Twitter bio?

There are folks who I assume are sincere when they say they like the Attack on Titan movies, so I'm sure the latest toku offering from the streaming platform that gave us Godzilla Singular Point and Ultraman Rising will see its defenders, too. (In fairness, those two projects do share a voice actor in common who gave us the single greatest line in film history, per Roger Ebert.) I mean, yeah, it may not be worth a whole lot, but I guess it's something.

I'm doing my part!

Suffice it to say, I'll be happily skipping this one, even as it earns an 11/10 on Letterboxd by our intellectual superiors, who continue to be shocked and amazed at how emotional Brendan Fraser was in Rental Family or spout goony nonsense like, "This is the greatest video game adaptation ever!"

Though, in fairness, Street Fighter (1994) is pretty fun.

Seeing Toho's Half Human on the Big Screen!

 Signage advertising the Toho all-nighter at Shin-Bungeiza. Photo by Brett Homenick.

I really don't like all-nighters. I value sleep too much to sit through them. Besides, I find it's usually hard to enjoy a movie when it's 4:00 a.m., and you realize you're still miles and miles away from home (more specifically, your bed). But this all-nighter at Shin-Bungeiza (in Ikebukuro) was too good to pass up. It featured a rare 35mm screening of Toho's "lost" Abominable Snowman picture Half Human (1955).

The film print for Half Human wasn't in the best shape. There were a quite a few scratches, jumps, and other imperfections. But it was still a revelation to see the film in 35mm (and especially without the timecode at the bottom of the screen!). For the first time, I noticed Shigeo Kato's role as one of the primitive mountain men. Nothing beats seeing a film like this in the best-possible quality.

After Half Human, I stayed for a screening of The Human Vapor (1960), which I'd never seen before 35mm. Unlike Half Human, this print was virtually flawless. It'd also probably been years since I'd seen the film at all, and I'm much more familiar with the American version (with its focus on Yoshio Tsuchiya's Human Vapor character) than the Japanese (which centers on Tatsuya Mihashi's police detective). 

I decided against seeing the other two, especially since I've seen Matango several times on the big screen and didn't really feel much need to see it again. Besides, I got to see the two flicks I really wanted. Suffice it to say, it was a great time at the movies!

Japanese Actress Kaoru Yachigusa Passes Away at 88

Actress Kaoru Yachigusa died of pancreatic cancer on October 24 at 7:45 a.m. She was 88. Ms. Yachigusa began her acting career in 1947 and remained in demand as a performer the rest of her life. She married Toho director Senkichi (The Killing Bottle) Taniguchi in 1957, and the couple remained married until his death in 2007.

Ms. Yachigusa is best known among genre fans for her leading role in The Human Vapor (1960), as the object of Yoshio Tsuchiya’s affection, the ethereal dancer Fujichiyo. She would return to the science fiction genre in the late 1970s under the direction of Kihachi Okamoto in Toho’s Blue Christmas (1978) as the wife of Eiji Okada’s scientist character. This, of course, only scratches the surface of her celebrated acting career.

Rest in peace, Ms. Yachigusa.

Yoshio Tsuchiya: 1927-2017

Actor Yoshio Tsuchiya. Photo by Brett Homenick.

According to a reliable source in Japan, veteran Toho actor Yoshio Tsuchiya (Seven Samurai, The Human Vapor, Monster Zero) passed away at age 89. No other details are available at this time.

RIP, Tsuchiya-san.

UPDATE (9/7): Yoshio Tsuchiya passed away on February 8 of lung cancer, a few months shy of his 90th birthday. 

James Hong, King of the Monsters!

James Hong signs an autograph for yours truly.

After visiting Ib Melchior, I ate lunch with legendary actor James Hong (Big Trouble in Little China, Chinatown, Blade Runner). This was my second lunch with the famed actor, however, it was even more enjoyable than the first.

Hangin' out with James Hong at Dupar's Restaurant in Los Angeles.

What made this lunch even more memorable was that James and I recorded a couple of videos, which are posted below. His sense of humor really shines through in them. Enjoy!