No.

Brought to you by the "Oscar-winning team behind Godzilla Minus One," or whatever.

No. Nope. Sorry. Not even out of the gate. Uh-uh. No way. Not a chance in a million. Nothing doing. Absolutely not. Aw, hell nah. Shuffle all the way off to Buffalo with that.

Much like cow dung on the farm, the trailer for the Netflix adaptation of The Human Vapor (1960) just "dropped," and it's just as bad as I was expecting. I gave up on it completely upon seeing the image above. Thanks but no thanks -- waste somebody else's time, who will no doubt give it seven stars and three thumbs up on his personal Letterboxd account. "The greatest Japanese film since either Rental Family or Bullet Train Explosion! (I haven't seen Exit 8 yet.)"

I can't imagine why this thing would appeal to anybody who admires the original film or even any pre-Shin Godzilla (2016) tokusatsu work, but I can't imagine a lot of things that nonetheless exist. I mean, I don't know why someone's interest in Japanese SFX would start with Heisei-era Ultraman shows and pretty much ignore everything that came before it, so I'm bemused by how many such people are active on Twitter.

Great idea!

Even Godzilla (1954), formerly the undisputed sacred cow of fandom if there ever was one, is no longer secure in its position of "You don't understand cinema if you don't automatically rank it number one." Once slapped onto every top 10 list in the number-one position by rote, now it's more and more often supplanted by the overhyped, overpraised, and overdiscussed CG cartoons of the last 10 years. (Recency bias? What dat?)

We sure are in a brave new world of discourse if the year 1954 doesn't elicit the reflexive oohs and aahs of yore from the online purveyors of Martin Scorsese memes. Get with the times, yo! How can anything Ishiro Honda ever committed to celluloid compete with a truly C I N E M A T I C lecture on Freon gas? Do I need to show you a picture of David Lynch talking into a microphone in order for you to get it? How can you even think to question me when it says "film critic" right there in my Twitter bio?

There are folks who I assume are sincere when they say they like the Attack on Titan movies, so I'm sure the latest toku offering from the streaming platform that gave us Godzilla Singular Point and Ultraman Rising will see its defenders, too. (In fairness, those two projects do share a voice actor in common who gave us the single greatest line in film history, per Roger Ebert.) I mean, yeah, it may not be worth a whole lot, but I guess it's something.

I'm doing my part!

Suffice it to say, I'll be happily skipping this one, even as it earns an 11/10 on Letterboxd by our intellectual superiors, who continue to be shocked and amazed at how emotional Brendan Fraser was in Rental Family or spout goony nonsense like, "This is the greatest video game adaptation ever!"

Though, in fairness, Street Fighter (1994) is pretty fun.