Friday, July 29, 2016

GODZILLA RESURGENCE: "This Is Bad. This IS Bad!"


In October 1995, following the main-event match at WWF In Your House 4: Great White North between WWF champion Big Daddy Cool Diesel and The British Bulldog, company owner Vince McMahon reportedly threw down his headset and declared, "Horrible!" Completely disappointed with the quality of the match, Diesel's title reign would come to an end the following month.

That was my immediate reaction to seeing Godzilla Resurgence (a.k.a. Shin Godzilla), though I think my exact quote was more along the lines of, "Stupid!"

Some spoilers will be contained herein, but really, this movie is so devoid of surprises or excitement that I'm not sure it's even possible to spoil this thing.

Where to begin? Well, for starters, I suppose if you like government bureaucrats with no backstory, no character development, and very little to set them apart from each other aside from their taste in neckties, you might find some enjoyment here. Because that's what the movie is: When Godzilla is not onscreen, the bureaucrats talk to each other. Then they walk down a corridor to resume their talking elsewhere. To spice things up, director Hideaki Anno puts his wide-angle lens to work in order to film extreme closeups of the bureaucrats as they talk -- in case we wanted to see the worried looks on the bureaucrats' pores.

But I really must touch on the absolute worst moment in not just this movie but the entire series. (That is no exaggeration, by the way.)

When Godzilla is attacking Kamata (the site of the first teaser trailer that was released late last year), it's revealed to be an early form of Godzilla. This form of Godzilla looks like a googly-eyed Muppet that got kidnapped from the Sesame Street prop department. It hurriedly crawls around on all fours (!) like a demented hamster in search of a wheel big enough to handle its girth. My jaw literally dropped when I first saw it, but not in the way the filmmakers intended. Of course, given the folks who worked on the film, it too looks like it went to the same plastic surgeon Jack Napier visited in Batman (1989). Suffice it to say, it was hideously stupid and laughably ridiculous. Later on, it transforms into the version we're all now familiar with from the trailers.

If it weren't for his legs or tail, Godzilla would almost never move. He just plods around Tokyo, looking like he had nothing better to do with himself. There's no sense of wonder or awe. There's no sense of what people on the ground must be dealing with. Godzilla's victims are all faceless extras. Everyone we get to know is some bureaucrat who's doing his or her best to look stoic. Trust me, it gets old real quick.

The movie further degenerates from there. Godzilla has the ability to fire lasers from pretty much all parts of his body, and after our first light show, Shin G suddenly decides to go into hibernation until the climax. The military defeats Godzilla in a preposterous way (which even involves the use of commuter trains!), and then it ends.

That's it. There's no story. There's no beginning, middle, or end. It just happens, and then it's done. To say the very least, it's not a satisfying movie-going experience.

To make matters worse, there's constant use of old-school, Tsuburaya-era sound effects throughout the film. So, even though the visuals we're seeing onscreen are meant to recall the real-life horror and devastation of the 3/11 tsunami, the sounds we hear recall the imagination and joy of the Showa Godzilla series. Way to mix your message, guys.

My verdict? It's the worst of the series. Yes, worse than Godzilla '98. But, even more surprisingly, worse than Godzilla (2014), whose biggest crime was simply being bland and boring. This was completely misguided from start to finish, and the lack of a strong producer (like Tomoyuki Tanaka or Shogo Tomiyama), who guided the series for years between different directors and screenwriters, was felt in a big way.

I had a feeling this would be the outcome. I hoped against hope I'd like it, but in the end, my fears that this "visionary filmmaker" (i.e., cartoon director) would end up delivering a stinker were unfortunately confirmed. Let's hope Shin Goji is the last of its kind.

6 comments:

  1. Well, too bad for you there is talks already of a 2nd SG!! I excitedly ENJOYED the movie, and so did most everyone else, cause at the end, during the credits, almost everyone was clapping their hands very loudly, in approval!! Shin Godzilla IS Godzilla!! Already can't wait for the dvd!! Imo, best G movie to date.

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  2. Your review is a grotesque oversimplification if I ever saw one.


    "Where to begin? Well, for starters, I suppose if you like government bureaucrats with no backstory, no character development, and very little to set them apart from each other aside from their taste in neckties"
    There were characters with some background, but the movie isn't focused on one single character. Rather, it's more focused on the collective effort.

    "It hurriedly crawls around on all fours (!) like a demented hamster in search of a wheel big enough to handle its girth"
    Godzilla didn't "crawl around on all fours" - he didn't even have arms at that point! Just nubs/fins that would eventually turn into arms. He was propelling himself forward with just his hind legs.


    "Godzilla has the ability to fire lasers from pretty much all parts of his body"

    Not entirely true. He didn't just develop lasers from "all parts of his body" - he had been hit in the back with buster bunkers, which in turn created fissures in his flesh and as a result he gained an extra weapon of sorts. Besides which, this isn't first time Godzilla had crazy abilities like this; he became a giant magnet at one point, had the ability to fly, created nuclear pulses, talked with Anguirus and Jet Jaguar etc.

    "To make matters worse, there's constant use of old-school, Tsuburaya-era sound effects throughout the film. So, even though the visuals we're seeing onscreen are meant to recall the real-life horror and devastation of the 3/11 tsunami, the sounds we hear recall the imagination and joy of the Showa Godzilla series." The sounds were taken from the original 1954 Godzilla. "Shin Godzilla" in all respects is a classic Toho monster movie, but one updated with 3/11 in mind. Those elements served not only as reminders in terms of what's preserved but also what has changed between now and then. Whatever "fun" you had with monster films from the late 50s/early 60s is made grotesque, especially when you start putting 3/11 into the equation.

    "That's it. There's no story. There's no beginning, middle, or end. It just happens, and then it's done. To say the very least, it's not a satisfying movie-going experience." Of course, if you had bothered paying attention, which you obviously hadn't, you'd find there was a story. The movie is a realistic take on the original 1954 Godzilla, although more based around the perspective of politicians in terms of the complications his existence brings to the table, be it from a legal or religious perspective. Plus, it comments on the ineffectiveness of Japanese bureaucracy in the face of disaster, the nature of the Japanese Self Defense Force, US/Japanese relations and Japan's relationship with radiation among other things. Details don't matter apparently.

    "My verdict? It's the worst of the series. Yes, worse than Godzilla '98." Oh come off that crap! It's not worse than GINO 98, nor is it as bad. It's not even a bad film. Look, you don't have to like "Shin Godzilla" or say that it's your favorite, but to say that it is the "worst of the series" is an enormous disservice, especially considering there have been far, FAAAAAR worse within the Godzilla series itself.

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  3. Gee, I hope it didn't take you a full year to write this rebuttal. I wonder if you'll get around to reading my response sometime before Godzilla vs. Kong comes out.

    I'm glad we agree that that there are no developed central characters in whom the audience can invest and that the movie focuses instead on a "collective effort" of indistinguishable government bureaucrats. Well, except I guess for Kayoko Ann Patterson, who's under the impression she'll be POTUS in the next 10-15 years. (So much for the flick's vaunted realism.)

    By the way, before we proceed, it might help you to take a look at the time stamp on my review. I wrote it immediately after seeing the movie on opening day. I based my description of Kamata-kun on the way it appeared to me in the theater. I guess it didn't occur to me to study its limbs that closely, but who'd have guessed I'd be nitpicked on that point a year later?

    I haven't seen the flick since opening day, so I can't comment on whether all the sound effects cues were lifted from G54. The Akira Ifukube library music sure wasn't, though, as tracks from Battle in Outer Space and Terror of Mechagodzilla made their way into the movie. Back to the drawing board for that argument.

    Thanks for telling me I didn't pay attention to the movie. Next time you sit next to me in a theater and watch me the whole time instead of the movie, at least have the courtesy to introduce yourself.

    Pretty funny that you chide me for saying Shin G doesn't have a story and assure me that it does -- Godzilla '54's story! You'd think this award-winning masterpiece could stand on its own legs (or nubs) without constant callbacks to and imitations of the earlier, superior film.

    You don't have to like my opinion about Shin Godzilla. Why, you can even disagree with it if you see fit. But I guess I fail to see how it's an "enormous disservice" (to what? to whom?) to state how I see things. If you're somehow offended by my take on a summer monsta pitcha, maybe it's time to rethink those priorities.

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  4. "I'm glad we agree that that there are no developed central characters in whom the audience can invest" There were developed characters, though. Goro Maki, for one - the scientist who was studying mutations that discovered Godzilla in the first place but whose life was ruined by the US government, whose wife died of radiation poisoning and became so disillusioned and bitter he blamed Japan and in turn unleashed Godzilla upon the world (it's indicated that he could have merged with Godzilla itself, thereby kickstarting the events of the film). Kayoko Ann Patterson, the ambitious though shady politician from the US who wants to become President who actually ends up aiding Japan rather than allowing the US to go through with their plans of bombing the country and using it as a political/economic opportunity. Rando Yaguchi, the young politician who wants to take action rather than just stand there and do nothing. It was also him who pushed for bilateral information sharing - if the info hadn't been shared at that time, then the Godzilla riddle wouldn't have been solved, and all the stuff about the blood coagulant would have been delayed. So Yaguchi's actions here, are key. Akasaka- a great foil to Yaguchi, a wise man in many respects but also a very standard politician. Unlike the PM he's clearly not an idiot, but in many regards he's very pragmatic and beauracratic, knowing and wanting to play the system, unlike Yaguchi who is younger and rash. Ogasashi, the somewhat taciturn scientist who, unlike the other experts called in is more observant, who looks at footage of Godzilla and determines quickly how its movement is and what it can do.

    "The Akira Ifukube library music sure wasn't, though, as tracks from Battle in Outer Space and Terror of Mechagodzilla made their way into the movie. Back to the drawing board for that argument." Not at all, for the point still stands. Also, it's important to consider the context in which those songs were used rather than snidely dismissing them.


    "Thanks for telling me I didn't pay attention to the movie. Next time you sit next to me in a theater and watch me the whole time instead of the movie, at least have the courtesy to introduce yourself." It comes from your lack of attention to detail.

    "Pretty funny that you chide me for saying Shin G doesn't have a story and assure me that it does -- Godzilla '54's story!"

    Only in terms of the basic premise. After all, "Shin Godzilla" is in essence a remake, much more so than the Godzilla 2014 movie as that particular film had elements which suggested it as being a sequel of sorts. It should be worth noting that a lot of the other Godzilla films, 1984 especially, rested on the laurels of the original 54 film more than anything. Even more, the original 54 Godzilla was essentially a remake of "Beast from 20,000 Fathoms", just done better and considerably darker. The point is, any movie could have a similar premise - it's just a matter of how you tell the story and what you do with the material. In "Shin's" case, it takes some of the ideas of the original but does its own unique spin, even going so far as to deconstruct Godzilla himself.

    "You'd think this award-winning masterpiece could stand on its own legs (or nubs) without constant callbacks to and imitations of the earlier, superior film."

    It depends on the nature of the "call-backs" and/or imitations though. If it's a "Superman 3", for example, where whole scenes are replicated for no rhyme or reason other than "Hey the original did it!", then it is lazy. However, sometimes call-backs/imitations are done to subvert the conventions of narrative structure and characterization, and "Shin" does that quite well. The movie is kind of postmodern.

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  5. "But I guess I fail to see how it's an "enormous disservice" to state how I see things" It's one thing to not like a film, but to say that a good film is bad is in itself extremely problematic. When one reviews a film, one has to be objective and proportionate. You have to think about everything - plot, characters, imagery, special effects, budget, how images are framed, what characters say, country of origin (Japanese writing is very much based on subtlety), style, potential symbolism, themes, the genre said-film is a part of, similarities in other films, what does it do differently from said-films, if at all, how it fares with other similarly budgeted movies of its type (the best and the worst), etc in order to adequately grade a film. In terms of "Shin" and how it ranks among Godzilla movies, I find it extremely hard to believe that it is somehow worse than, say, "Godzilla's Revenge" or "Godzilla vs Gigan", let alone the much maligned 98 movie. It also depends on the type of mindset you went in with. If you went in expecting Michael Bay action and explosions nonstop and you didn't get that, you're bound to be disappointed.

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  6. Of all the characters you named, I would only give credit to Patterson as a character who develops somewhat during the course of the movie. But, let's face it, any credit given is far outweighed by the terrible execution of the character.

    Goro Maki? You're seriously going to sit there and tell me that a picture of Kihachi Okamoto is an example of a well developed character?

    Quite frankly, I'm not even sure what your point about the sound effects cues is. You went out of your way to point out that they were all taken from G54, presumably for the audience to make a direct connection between that film and this one. I responded that music from other, lighter Godzilla movies was also featured prominently, which would obviously make any such connection between G54 and Shin G on the part of the filmmakers a whole lot murkier. So ... I'm not sure why you even brought up the supposed G54 connection in the first place. Are you just making this up as you go along?

    The condescending Internet-film-critic nonsense at the end is a real gas. I mean, you just tried to pass off a character who isn't even in the movie as an example of one of this movie's best developed characters, and I'm supposed to believe that Shin Godzilla is an objectively "good" movie on your say-so? No, thanks. I'm sure you mean well and all, but I think I'll stick with my own judgment as to what constitutes a good movie.

    I wouldn't call G98 a success by any means, but it certainly has more entertainment value (I've seen it several times over the years) than Shin G, and it hits the mark it was aiming for (a summer popcorn flick) more successfully than whatever it was the Anno film attempted (a deconstruction of the character of Godzilla shoehorned into a series of boardroom meetings that illustrates government inefficiency, I guess?). As radical as the changes were to Godzilla's character in the '98 film, at least D&E never reduced the King of the Monsters to a gloopy moray eel lookalike that haplessly stumbled around Tokyo. They also win points for casting Jean Reno as the film's best character as opposed to a picture of an old Toho director (who still had more charisma than half the cast).

    Roger Ebert often wrote about how he judged movies according to genre, which famously led to some of his reviews creating their share of controversy. (For example, he gave a thumbs-down review to Full Metal Jacket while giving a recommendation to Benji the Hunted on the same program.)

    Ebert argued that the Kubrick film missed its mark (compared to other contemporary Vietnam War pictures) while the Benji flick hit the one it was aiming for (compared to other children's movies). As much as it may upset your first-year film school sensibilities, that's my take on movies like Revenge and Gigan. They hit their marks (and then some, IMO) while Shin G has all the marksmanship of the Keystone Cops.

    I humbly suggest you get over yourself.

    And that's the last word.

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